Embracing the Hard: 11 Lessons for Success in Competition and Life

We've all been there: trudging through the seemingly endless challenges that life throws our way. Whether you're an Olympic athlete, a competitor of any form, a coach, a leader, or someone just trying to make it through the day, there's no denying that being great at your pursuit(s) is hard. But it's precisely this difficulty that shapes us, molds us, and prepares us for even greater challenges. Competition, especially the healthy kind, teaches us commitment, energy, passion, and the importance of being able to ride out the highs and lows. These lessons are crucial for navigating the complexities of life.

Watching incredibly talented athletes compete in the Olympics always drives home the importance of doing hard things. As someone who played competitively through college and has hired more than a few athletes in my career, I’ve witnessed firsthand the impact that sports and other competitive endeavors like debate team or chess club can have on young people, teaching them invaluable lessons — like the importance of getting back up, dusting yourself off, and learning from the experience after you get knocked down — that extend far beyond the proverbial playing field.

Over time, I’ve identified 11 essential lessons, what I’ll call "HARD Principles," that competitors must address on the playing field of work and life. It’s my hope you’ll find these reminders helpful for not just yourself but your people, your teams, and anyone you’re trying to help succeed.

1. Accept the HARD

The first step to success is acknowledging that life is hard. No one escapes it without loads of challenges. No one is immune to hardships, and pretending otherwise only sets us up for disappointment.

By accepting that hard things will happen, we free ourselves from resistance and open up to new possibilities. This acceptance allows us to learn, adapt, respond, and move forward.

It's a critical message to share with our employees and our teams: Embrace the difficulty, and we’ll be better equipped to handle whatever comes our way. This is one of the many reasons Resilience is one of our Core Values at Ninety.

2. Work HARD

There's no substitute for hard work. Success in life — and in any competitive endeavor — requires dedication, effort, and a "no deposit, no return" mentality. Many people don't see the countless hours of practice, preparation, and persistence that go into achieving greatness.

It's tempting to look at someone else's success and think they had it easy, but the truth is, everything is earned. We must instill in our teams the importance of working hard behind the scenes, day in and day out.

3. Handle HARD

How we handle life's challenges ultimately determines our success. Many people spend their lives searching for an easier path, hoping that life will somehow become less demanding. But the reality is, as we grow and mature, we learn how to handle the hard stuff better.

Duke Women's Basketball Coach Kara Lawson has a great video on this topic, emphasizing that life doesn't get easier — we just get better at handling it. This is an important lesson for our employees and teams: Embrace the hard, and we’ll become more resilient and capable.

4. Do HARD Things First

Procrastination is a common pitfall, and it can be especially tempting to put off difficult tasks. But true "doers" tackle the hard things first. This is an incredibly important life skill for kids and for our employees to learn and implement.

By prioritizing the most challenging tasks, we build momentum and gain confidence, making it easier to tackle the rest of our to-do list. Encourage your employees and your team to take on the hard things first, and they'll develop a habit of proactive problem-solving.

5. Be Willing to Have HARD Conversations

As enlightened leaders, we must be willing to have the difficult conversations that come with leadership. Avoiding these conversations will erode our cultures and weaken our people, our teams, and our company.

Culture is built every day through the decisions we make and the actions we take. Tough conversations are a necessary part of maintaining and strengthening culture. By addressing issues head-on, we foster an environment of honesty, transparency, and mutual respect.

6. Choose Our HARD

Each of us is wise to choose our hard. Life is full of choices, and each choice comes with its own set of challenges. The key is to find the hard things that will help each of us achieve our dreams.

This requires a deep understanding of our collective goals and a willingness to pursue them, even when the path is difficult. A video from Motiversity highlights this concept beautifully, reminding us that the hard things we choose will ultimately shape our future. Encourage your team to be intentional about their choices, and they'll be more likely to reach their full potential.

7. Build Mental Toughness

Beyond simply handling hard situations, competition teaches us the importance of mental toughness. This isn’t just about overcoming obstacles but also about maintaining focus and composure under pressure. Mental resilience — better yet, antifragility — helps in pushing through setbacks, whether on the field or in life, and is critical in maintaining long-term success.

Developing mental toughness involves consistent exposure to challenges, learning to stay calm under pressure, and bouncing back from failures. It's about training our minds to be as strong as our bodies, ready to face adversity with confidence and determination.

8. Understand Risk and Reward

A fundamental lesson from competition is understanding the relationship between risk and reward. Athletes often take calculated risks to achieve their goals, knowing that the potential rewards can be significant.

This concept is equally important in life decisions. Taking risks can lead to new opportunities and growth, but it's essential to weigh the potential outcomes and make informed choices. Encourage your colleagues to embrace challenges by taking risks, understanding that failure is a part of the process and can lead to valuable learning experiences.

9. Embrace Teamwork and Share Success

Competition teaches us that success is often a team effort. Recognizing and sharing achievements is as important as individual accolades. Teamwork fosters collaboration, mutual support, and a sense of shared purpose.

In both competition and life, working together toward common goals can lead to greater achievements than going it alone, especially when we want to go far, when we choose to play the long game. Emphasize the value of collaboration and the importance of celebrating team successes. This creates a culture of inclusivity and collective accomplishment, where everyone feels valued and appreciated.

10. Learn from Failure

Another critical aspect is how competition teaches us to handle failure. Not every endeavor will be successful, but learning to accept and grow from failure is crucial.

Failure is a natural part of growth and learning, providing valuable lessons that can lead to future success. Encourage your colleagues and teams to view failures as opportunities for improvement rather than setbacks. By fostering a growth mindset, you can help both your people and your teams become more resilient and better prepared to face future challenges.

11. Practice Discipline

While you discuss hard work, explicitly highlighting the role of disciplined practice in success will help the lessons stick more deeply. Discipline in practice, as in life, leads to continuous improvement and better outcomes.

Consistent, focused effort is the backbone of achieving goals and mastering skills. Encourage your people and your teams to develop disciplined approaches to practice, emphasizing the importance of regular, intentional effort in reaching their full potential.

In Recap: The 11 HARD Principles

Life is undeniably hard, but as leaders, we have the power to handle it and achieve success. Embrace these essential lessons to navigate the challenges of sports and life:

1. Accept the hard: Acknowledge that life is full of challenges.
2. Work hard: Dedicate yourself to consistent effort and persistence.
3. Handle hard: Learn to manage life's difficulties with resilience.
4. Do hard things first: Prioritize the most challenging tasks.
5. Be willing to have hard conversations: Foster a culture of honesty and transparency.
6. Choose your hard: Make intentional choices that align with your goals.
7. Build mental toughness: Develop resilience and composure under pressure.
8. Understand risk and reward: Take calculated risks for growth and opportunities.
9. Embrace teamwork and share success: Foster collaboration and celebrate collective achievements.
10. Learn from failure: View setbacks as opportunities for growth.
11. Practice discipline: Develop consistent, focused effort for long-term success.

By embracing the HARD Principles, we can prepare ourselves, our colleagues, our teams, and, most importantly, our companies to handle whatever life throws our way.

So go out there, face the hard stuff head-on, and watch as you grow stronger, more resilient, and more successful.